Letter to the Editor: A Christmas Spoof

To the Editor:

Snow’s turned to slush, and water to ice; Santa forgot to check the list twice.

Sugars are high, and the temperature’s low; “Kids, go out and shovel the snow!”

The carolers sing out of key; The shopping lists’ end I cannot see.

The reindeer are on a break; Santa’s on a diet for his own sake.

The cookies are stale, hard as a rock; Over an open fire I must hang this big sock.

We cut down a tree and dress its corpse in lights; As we await Santa through the sleepless days and nights.

The holly is decked in the halls all askew; Santa’s retired, now they need someone new.

The elves are all sick, in bed with a cold; “Sorry, we don’t have Christmas lights, the last one’s been sold.”

It’s Christmas Eve now and I’m finally done; I’ve got the presents wrapped for everyone.

And as I lay down in bed and turn out the light; I can hear Santa yell, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Moriah Downing