Word for Word 7/31/24

Six Key Words for a Blessed & Happy Marriage

What is bigger: a quarter or the sun? This isn’t a trick question. So, what’s bigger: a quarter or the sun? Well, of course, we can all agree that the sun is much bigger than a quarter.  Yet, if we hold a quarter in front of our eyes, it can block the entire sun. Although the diameter of the sun is 864,000 miles wider than a quarter, if a quarter is held before our eyes, it can look bigger than the sun. Perspectives matter.

A husband loves his wife, and a wife loves her husband. Our spouses are the well-spring of many of life’s greatest blessings. Whether it be in our marriage or relationships with others, we often have a great love for the other person. However, because of our pride, their sins and failures can seem bigger than the person we love. Just as a quarter can look bigger than the sun when it is right before our eyes.

God gave us the gift of marriage and He loves marriage. Through marriage, the Lord gives us blessing upon blessing - companionship, children, and much more. So how do you think the devil feels about marriage? The devil hates everything that God loves, and so he does all that he can to ruin marriages. And one of the tricks that he uses is to make the sins of our spouse seem bigger than they are so that we forget about all their good qualities and the ways our spouse blesses us. Does this ever happen to you?

Now, this is not to say that you or your spouse is perfect. Far from it! Whether it be in our marriage or in our other relationships, we mess up daily. We get angry and annoyed, we fail to show love and compassion, we assume that the other person was trying to provoke us and do not show appreciation when we should. We sin. We hurt our spouses and we have been hurt by them.

When we have sinned against our spouse, we need to admit that we have done wrong. So here are the first three key words to a blessed and happy marriage: “I am sorry.” These three words are easy enough to pronounce, but often hard to say. From a very young age we teach our children to apologize, but we often forget to model this in our own lives.

When our spouse apologizes, what should we do? One temptation is to say, “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I guess that is a better response than getting angry with our spouse, but it’s not the right answer either. If we have sinned or been sinned against - that’s not “okay.” It’s wrong. If we simply say it is okay, the issue isn’t settled. This is where the next three key words to a blessed and happy marriage come in. What are they? “I forgive you.”

These are three powerful words. “I forgive you.” To forgive means to grant release from a debt, to wash away the dirt. This forgiveness is possible because of Jesus, who lived a perfect life and died for the sins of the world on the cross. Every single sin, every single careless word, foolish argument, selfish decision, was paid for by Jesus on the cross. The Lord was gracious to us - we didn’t deserve his forgiveness or love. Yet, God so loved us, that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us so that we could be forgiven.

Just as the forgiveness of our sins through Christ reconciles us to God, so too does our forgiveness to one another. And Scripture encourages us to do this, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

In our marriages and other relationships, we will do wrong and be wronged. But remember the quarter and the sun. God promises that He will forgive those who confess their sins and trust in Jesus. And it’s this wonderful news which gives us the power and strength to admit our wrongs to others and forgive as we have been forgiven by God.

“I am sorry.” “I forgive you.” Six small words that will truly make for a blessed and happy marriage. If Christ and His forgiveness are at the center of our marriage, that makes for a strong marriage. As Scripture tells us, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Amen.

Pastor Abraham Faugstad
King of Grace Lutheran Church ELS, Waukon and Trinity Lutheran Church