AND THEN I WROTE ...

. . . that I sometimes feel as though I was put on earth and destined to write a local newspaper column so that you, my readers, might experience vicariously, as I actually run through them, "the thousand natural plagues that man is heir to," as another, more famous writer put it.
In the past, I have been able to describe my spinal disc removal, (mid 1960s); the replacement of the mitral valve in my heart with a metal one (1993); and just this year, my Type II diabetes diagnosis.
Now I can dutifully report on cataract surgery.
This Fourth of July observance had special meaning for me. When anyone started the "Star Spangled Banner" and sang "Oh! Say can you see?", I could honestly answer "not very well."
It seems that within the past year, I have developed rapidly growing cataracts in both eyes. I was aware of poorer vision, but that is often the case with diabetes, I was told, so when the blood glucose level went down, I expected a gradual improvement in eyesight.
Instead, it got worse.
I went to see the optometrist in May, expecting to get a new prescription for glasses. I wanted to be able to see better by the end of June, since my license to drive was expiring then, and I was not at all certain I could pass the vision test if required to take one. That's when I got the news that I should have surgery on both eyes. And, an appointment was made with the visiting opthomologist to have the right eye done July 13.
Everyone to whom I talked assured me the cataract operation was minor surgery and relatively non-invasive. I re-learned the adage that "minor" surgery is what other people have. What happens to you is major surgery.
The surgeon explained that since I was taking a blood thinner because of the threat of blood clots with the metal heart valve, he was not going to stop the thinning medication. He said because of that, there could be some bleeding. But, I apparently bled like a stuck pig, and wound up with some sutures, although that is not usual with cataract surgery for "normal" people. The surgery was painless, and at the end the surgeon said the word I loved to hear: Perfect!
Next morning, when the optometrist uncovered the bandaged eye for the first time, I was told there had, indeed, been some bleeding, but that pretty much everything else looked good. I asked for a mirror so I could see the eye, and when I did see it, I nearly ran from the room yelling "alien." Even Sigourney Weaver never saw such an ugly looking eye in any of her movies!
In fact, if there had been any white showing at all, I would have had a patriotic eye, because my baby blue ("blue as the summer skies") iris was set in a sea of bright red! In Japan, I was called "neko san" because they thought I had eyes like a neko, a cat. This was the ugliest, meanest looking cat eye ever!
If all goes well, the left eye will be done in August.
I expect to be able to see better. I can already see improvement in distance vision in the right eye, but can't read with it as well as I used to. I can still read without glasses using only the left eye, but distance vision is not good. What I need right now is a pair of glasses with a corrective lens only for the left eye, and nothing for the right eye. But all that could change after the next surgery and the next prescription glasses.
I expect to have this all done before the 60-day grace period after a birthday during which a license to drive can be renewed without having to take the written test. But even if it is not, the worst case scenario is I will have to take the written test and driving performance test, and I am confident I can pass both with appropriate study.
Meanwhile, don't let your little children see my eye. It might give them nightmares!