THE VIEW FROM HERE

Well, now a week overdue, my maternity leave has begun. An odd feeling, since I still await the newborn baby for which the leave gives me time to care. I keep telling myself that it can only be a matter of days now, but baby is making perfectly clear its apprehensiveness to enter the outside world from the safety and security of my womb - despite my, and its sister’s, constant coaxing.
I guess patience is a virtue I don't possess.
Though I tried not to put myself through unnecessary pressure and frustration in awaiting the arrival of this new addition to our family, I have, inevitably, been anticipating this birth for the past four weeks. Given the fact that I was not officially due until a week ago last Saturday, I’d say I failed in my efforts to be patient and level-headed. I'm sure every pregnant woman secretly hopes for a slightly earlier than anticipated labor, if only by a day or two, especially given the months of eager anticipation that precede the birth and the discomfort that one experiences in her last two months. I suppose my anxiety is natural.
But, despite wise advice to myself not to get my hopes up for the chance to meet my new baby earlier than expected, for fear that a late baby would leave me fit to be tied, I still secretly hoped. And now, in my overdue state, it actually seems as though I'm getting further and further from the delivery process rather than closer and closer. And to my family, my anxiety and it accompanying mood swings are becoming scarier and scarier.
I am, however, taking advantage of these days awaiting labor to enjoy my now two-and-a-half-year-old daughter in her last few days as an only child. And it seems to be time we needed together. As buddies, we've shared Popsicles on the front porch swing, taken walks and watched "American Tale" and "Land Before Time" more times than I can count, so familiar with these favorite movies that we now recite the words with the characters and sing along to all the music.
And we've cuddled close at night, sharing what my daughter has termed "her own blankey." The fact that I'm allowed to take comfort under the tattered blanket is a special honor bestowed upon me given the fact that few people are allowed to touch the sacred treasure.
Yes, we do enjoy our time together. And I'm saddened to think that we will only be able to bond like this for a short month and a half longer. Then, it will be back to work for me and a hectic schedule for the kids - "real life" I think they call it. I feel fortunate to have this opportunity to stay home, for however long, to be with my children. And fortunate to have a job I enjoy, which will ease the transition back to the work world, easy bake meals and seemingly impossible juggling of motherly responsibilities.
And because I cherish these weeks with my kids, I, too, have refused to allow myself to feel bad that the check marks on my maternity leave "To Do List" are not accumulating as fast as I'd planned. Despite the extra time I now have, those chores seem of much less importance to me than I'd thought they would.
Well, back to my daughter and the ice cream sandwich that she has so masterfully licked free of Neopolitan, leaving only the chocolate cookie portion in her hand and the same smeared across her face. In all this mess, she's sitting here smiling at me as I write, looking as "innocent" as she can.
With any luck, this column will find my readers in good health and myself with a small bundle to cradle, an eager older sibling to one side, and a proud daddy to the other.