WANDA'S WORLD

Like most men, my husband loves "toys" - and the bigger or more mechanical they are, the better. He is especially fascinated by new technology.
Twenty-three years ago, his fascination was focused on a unique innovation called the VCR. The VCR had been around for awhile but was so expensive it hadn't really taken off commercially at that time. One day he saw one in a local electronics store and the campaign to own it began.
Everywhere I went in our apartment I found pictures and brochures about VCRs. On the kitchen table, on the bed, in my purse - until I finally gave in and we plunked down $1,000 (yes, that's right) for an enormous machine, so heavy I couldn't lift it alone, that recorded only one program at a time by manually pushing huge buttons shaped like piano keys.
Today that monstrosity sits in our basement awaiting antique status which should arrive any day now. My hope is that I'm one of the few wives who let their husbands haul the stupid thing around for 20 years, and that when we inform collectors we have one of the "originals," they'll fight for the right to buy it, and I'll be able to retire to an island where there's no electricity to run VCRs!
In that tradition of men's mechanical toys, my husband has informed me of the newest technology he would like to own - the RL500 Robotic Mower! The advertising says, "Trade in your old mower for a hammock," which by the way, is just what my husband wanted for Father's Day. I think he's been scheming again.
To use the RL500 Robotic Mower, you just lay a wire around the outer perimeter of your yard and turn on a switch. If it doesn't electrocute you and the neighbor's cat, then the mower should be able to stay within your yard by the use of sensors.
It's "environmentally friendly," using just two batteries, and "whisper-quiet," allowing you to mow your lawn at 3 a.m. without disturbing your neighbors. That is, unless they look out their window and see an unmanned, flying saucer-shaped yellow object whirling around your backyard. That might disturb them!
I'm not sure I want to unleash a robot to mow my yard. What if it short-circuits? It happens all the time in the movies with disastrous results.
Then I'd have a crazed RL500 on the loose, mowing half the yard of my unsuspecting (but happy) neighbor, shearing the hair off the dog's tail, and cutting a path of destruction through my petunia patch.
Besides, mowing the lawn is the only real exercise most men get. If we replace that physical activity with a robot, all we'll have left is a Really Lazy 500 pound guy - hence the name, RL500, I'm sure.
Why would science waste such technology on a lawn mower when there's a real demand for Robotic Vacuum Cleaners, Robotic Diaper Changers, and a desperate need for Robotic Dirty Underwear and Socks Picker Uppers.
Well, the campaign has begun. Hubby has shown me the magazine ad and just yesterday a printout off the internet mysteriously appeared on my desk. It's the VCR all over again.
I guess this means that 20 years from now when our belongings are sold in an estate sale, those antique dealers will be fighting over that ugly RL500 Robotic Mower sitting next to a vintage 1977 VCR!