"Walk to Remember" is Saturday; Area ladies share their infant loss experiences

The second annual Walk to Remember has been scheduled for this Saturday, October 15 from 10 a.m. - 12 Noon at the Waukon City Park. This no-cost, non-competitive walk has been organized to honor all babies lost, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any infant loss.
The inaugural event was organized last fall by the local Healing Hearts Infant Loss Support Group in recognition of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Nearly 150 participants took part in last year's walk and its accompanying activities.
Entrants must register before the walk and can do so by contacting Cheryl Livingston in advance or may also register the day of the event, beginning at 10 a.m.
In hope of helping those who may have experienced an infant loss, three area ladies have offered to share their stories of similar losses they have experienced in their lives. Sarah Welsh, Judy Ahles and Crystal Gray have experienced infant losses in different ways, but want others to realize there is help and support available to assist in coping with such losses.
Sarah Welsh

Daniel Gerard Welsh was the sixth child of Daniel and Sarah (Teeling) Welsh of Waukon. He was born at Veterans Memorial Hospital in Waukon February 27, 1961. Though he appeared to be a healthy baby, the nurses observed changes in his breathing and color, and Dr. C. R. Rominger consulted with Pediatric Physicians at Mayo Hospital in Rochester, MN. It was decided that he be transferred to St. Mary's Hospital for observation.
In the Pediatric Unit at Mayo, he was observed and tests taken which revealed a condition known as “Transposition of the Great Vessels”, a condition where the vessels did not cross over. This would be a relatively new procedure for a small child. The first heart procedure at Mayo was done in 1955.
After consultation, the surgery was scheduled for April 25. The surgery itself was a success, but Danny’s heart had had to work so hard in two months that it was the size of a four-year-old boy's heart and could not sustain his life.
Today, this surgery claims 100 percent success with children who have the same problem. We have a picture of Danny taken with his nurse the evening before his surgery. Though it’s been 50 years, the loss is as painful today as it was that day, 50 years ago.
 
Judy Ahles

We are blessed with two grandsons, Robert James, age 14, son of Kyle and Jennifer Ahles of Waterloo, and Seth William, age 11 months, son of Ben and Katie Leusink of Sioux Center. Even though we have them, there is an empty feeling you can’t explain, the ache in your heart, and days, out of the blue, when the tears start to fall. But it is then you realize it comes from the six grandchildren we’ve lost in the past 13 years.
The first four, born June 1998, May 2000, February 2002 and September 2003, were just beginning to have life and then they left us. The hardest was losing the last two, Daniel and Lilian, because I saw and held them. Oh, how precious!
Daniel and the first four were children of Chris and Stephanie Ahles of New Albin.  Lilian was the daughter of Ben and Katie (Ahles) Leusink of Sioux Center.
It’s hard to lose a loved one, but to lose one who you’ll never see grow up, see what they’ll look like or what they’ll make of their lives, just leaves a hole in your heart. We miss and love you so much, our little angels.
 
Crystal Gray
 
My name is Crystal Gray. My husband, Lance, and I started to try to have kids shortly after we had gotten married. We knew our age would make it difficult. When we found out that I was pregnant, we couldn’t believe it. We were finally going to have that child we dreamed of. But, 21-1/2 weeks into the pregnancy our world was ripped out from under our feet.
I had developed a cold and decided to go to the doctor. When he listened to the heartbeat, there was none. I remember being in that dark room, seeing our baby on the ultrasound, motionless, when just a week earlier the baby was kicking and moving around. The phone calls we had to make now seem like a blur. How could we tell our parents that they were no longer going to have a grandchild?
The pain we felt carried on into the next day when we had to return to the hospital, forced to go through labor. Nothing could take away the hurt and pain of holding our son in our arms, knowing that he wasn’t going to come home with us. A small funeral had been planned as a way to try to say good-bye to our Baby Boy Gray.
Two years later, in August 2006, we found out we were expecting again - this time with twins. But the happiness of this news only lasted a short while when we were told that one would not make it. Then we were told that it’s common when one twin miscarriages, that it may take the other twin with it. One week later we were back in that dark room watching the screen as we were told our babies didn’t make it.
In January 2008, we learned I was pregnant again. This time there was happiness, but also a feeling of fear. I couldn’t take losing another baby. Then, of course, my fear became a reality when just a month later I miscarried.
The pain of losing four babies is something that no words can describe. For the longest time I blamed myself, and there are times when I still do. I always wonder if there was something that I could have done differently.
My husband and I have been married for eight years and still have yet to be blessed with a child together. We are trying to hold on to the faith that God will provide us with that little bundle of love and joy that we still desire.