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. . . that I don’t suppose one could dare to call himself a newspaper columnist this spring unless he commented on the Terri Schiavo case.

So, here goes.

As this last week of March starts, her feeding tube is still out, the wish of her husband but against the wishes of her parents. By now, ten days later, it may be back in; it may still be out and she is still alive, or she may be dead.

March 16- March 29

Scheduled

State vs. Russell David Roe, Waterville, IA, fail to have valid license/permit, $152.00

State vs. Jessica Ann Duffield, Postville, IA, speeding, $48.00

State vs. Ronald Francis Helle, Dubuque, IA, speeding, $48.00

State vs. Johnathon A. Steele, Waukon, IA, no insurance, $504.50

State vs. Brett L. Wild, New Albin, IA, speeding, $56.00

State vs. Wesley Daniel Litsey, Lansing, IA, fail to have valid license, $147.00

MENOMINEE, Mich. - A group of turkeys has been trotting around the city, chasing kids, startling motorists and loitering at people's homes. Authorities were notified, the EagleHerald reported, and after a slew of complaints, a hunt ensued.

"It's been keeping us on our toes," said Mike Baker, public service officer for the Menominee Police Department.

Two turkeys were captured by state Department of Natural Resources employees and turned loose in Menominee. One disappeared. Another turned up as a carcass on a city street, the newspaper reported.

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand - Shrek, a New Zealand sheep who won international fame a year ago with his substantial 60.5 pounds fleece, has been left bleating in the background with the emergence of an even bigger woolly wonder.

Fleece from Shrek2 weighed 67.5 pounds and measured 9.9 feet in length when shorn over the weekend.

David Wightman, Shrek 2's owner, said he believes the 11-year-old sheep avoided being sheared for the past seven years in the remote hills above his Winterslow Station near here.

LEON, WI - Some horses in central Wisconsin may still be bright eyed, but no longer bushy tailed. Waushara and Portage county sheriff's departments are trying to figure out who is cutting off the tails of some horses.

Someone cut off parts of the same horse's tail about four times since January at Town of Leon, Waushara County Sheriff David Peterson said. And Portage County officials are investigating the theft of the tails of four show horses in the town of Eau Pleine.

The horses were not injured and no one has determined a motive.

After an area is contaminated with oil, wildlife rescue organizations, such as International Bird Rescue Research Center (IBRRC) and Tri-State Bird Rescue & Research, come on the scene to help the animals in distress. Trained rescue workers provide the affected animals with proper hydration and nutrition and wash them in tubs of warm water. Rescuers use Dawn dishwashing liquid, which is the only dishwashing liquid safe enough to remove the oil while being gentle on the animals' skin, feathers and fur.

Professional quarterback Brett Favre says he loves to mow his lawn, and he's not alone. According to a recent survey, two-thirds of respondents find mowing relaxing or fun. A full 70% say their primary reason for keeping their lawns looking good is that it makes them feel good. The survey also found half of the women surveyed say they're the ones who mow the lawn most often.

Keeping the tax man away from your money may be easier than you think. With a bit of planning, you can cut your tax bill:

Tax-free interest: Interest earned on bonds issued by a state, territory, municipality or any political subdivision is free from federal taxes. If you're in the top 35 percent bracket, a five percent tax-free rate is like a taxable rate of 7.69 percent. At investinginbonds.com you can compare taxable and tax-free yields. Some bonds may also escape state and local taxes.